Train of Thoughts I

Train of Thoughts I
I woke up suddenly in the middle of the night. Of course you will call 3.46 a.m. as early morning but a person who sleeps at 2.30 a.m., may not. But it also looked like the middle of the night. Though there were big street lights illuminating the road, the sky was still dark, and more so because of the rain clouds. And so was my room, getting only some light thrown into it from the corridor through the wide sky-light covered with frosted glass-panes. But as my eyes opened they saw only darkness, may be because sleep was still clinging to the lashes. So when I woke up, practically only one of my five senses (for I doubt my sixth sense) was working with its full strength, the one that actually woke me up, my auditory sense i.e. my ears.


In the dead of night I heard the rain falling quietly and at a constant rate. The sounds that the drops made were almost the same at any point of time. For almost fifteen minutes from the moment my eyes opened to the dripping sounds, I kept lying motionless like the night, on my bed, listening to the rhythm of the regular drops and the music of the stillness beyond. Strangely no crickets were shouting or any frogs croaking. On the whole I was almost numb except for my ears, lying on the bed, feeling heavy and strength-less to move. I tried but failed to move even a finger. My mind felt heavy too, recollecting slowly but surely all that you have done and I have done and my life has done to me. The deepest and the heaviest of thoughts and memories invaded my brain. And to my disappointment, I only kept missing the best and the sweetest times. The next moment, realising that you are no more there in my life, the best memories gave the worst pain. Anyway, my tears have dried and at that moment I was cold and numb. So I did not cry for you anymore. Rather it seemed that the sky was heavy with sorrow and the clouds worked as its tear glands.


I, ultimately, decided to drop those worthless thoughts and with the strength of a moment pulled myself out of the spoiling, soft mattress and switched on the light to help me come back to reality. I sat back on the bed for some seconds, thought of making a cup of tea or coffee but was too sleepy, lazy, tired, hesitant and sad for it. I switched off the light again, hit the pillow with my head, curled up, closed my eyes tight, switched off my mind too and lost myself in some unknown land where you were not there to bother me anymore.